Earlier this year, we published ‘A person-centred Christmas’, a helpful guide for those supporting people with learning disabilities or autism designed to make sure everyone has a great Christmas.

With the big day coming up, we understand that some people might be feeling a bit nervous. If you have different relationships to Christmas in your service or family, it can be hard to know the right way to move forward.

To support you to create a truly person-centred Christmas, we wanted to share some more stories and experiences from the people who contributed to our guide. While this article is predominantly aimed at support workers, we hope this information will help anyone looking to create a Christmas their loved one will really enjoy.

Planning and being led by the person

When preparing for Christmas, planners and advent calendars can be really useful. As Peripatetic Area Manager Laura Affleck-Edwards explains, they give people we support better ways to understand what’s happening:

It’s really hard for some people we support to work out when Christmas is actually coming. They know it is on its way because every time they turn on the TV there’s adverts about it but it’s how we then explain when Christmas actually is that can really help.

For many people we support, the best countdown for them is an advent calendar because they know how many sleeps it is and they get the chocolate which they like too. It’s a really good visual prompt.

And when people have worked out unusual ways of dealing with Christmas, our best plan is to facilitate, not try to change, their strategies. Laura shared that one person we support is currently planning their list to Santa for two years in advance:

They cut out pictures from magazines and post them to Santa – they take the list to a shop near Mum, give it to the post office and Mum goes to collect it later.

Then they mentally tick the list off when they open their presents – they don’t want surprises.

Download: A person-centred Christmas resource

Coping with the changes that Christmas brings

Christmas can be a time of year when we all feel obliged to do things. It’s the time when we travel half way across the country to please the relative we haven’t seen all year, eat food we don’t normally eat to keep with tradition, and force ourselves to attend parties and events, when we might prefer to be at home. It can feel like the world forces us to participate in Christmas, even in our downtime.
While some people we support will treasure and celebrate this period, others may find it difficult and benefit from additional support.

“I tell staff to be selfish on behalf of the person,” said Service Manager Joe Smart.

For example, a friend might say how much they’d love to catch up with a person we support over Christmas. That doesn’t mean the friend has the right to force them to meet. If the person doesn’t want to visit and would prefer a phone call, or would only like to visit on a certain day, support them to say that.

Managing shopping trips

Managing shops can be especially difficult this time of year. They’re loud, colourful and busy, and can easily lead to ‘sensory overload’. For support workers, it might be useful to visit shops ahead of time to see what’s in the aisles and what should be avoided. Some shops, such as supermarkets, also have quiet hours, where everything is toned down.

“It’s about doing things in a way that works for them,” said Laura.

Laura described how one of the people we support doesn’t like shopping at Christmas – it’s too arousing and creates overstimulation. So, he writes a list and staff will go and get things for him, even though this is different to what they do normally:

Why would we insist that people do that? We should be making sure people go and do things when they’re happy and comfortable.

Another challenge facing those of us striving to build a person-centred Christmas are the closures. Shops close, activity groups stop, and routines are forced to change.

Laura shared a story of a person we support who likes to do things on set days of the week, and Christmas can upset that. To support them, staff would plan ahead by coming up with different things they could do on days the shops were shut and activities were closed:

He’d still quite happily do the things he usually does so it’s just making sure that we plan ahead.

We can’t decide the day before so we usually start to look at what other activities are on and what we can offer him several months in advance.

We also have to think about how to communicate with him about those changes, to give him real choice.

Download: A person-centred Christmas resource

Sometimes, you don’t have to make as many changes as you might think. Heather Redhead, a Positive Behaviour Support Lead, shared the story of a person we support who liked to go shopping on specific days. This was difficult over the Christmas period when there were closures, but some shops, such as corner shops, remained open so the person we support would visit those shops instead.

Christmas will bring changes that are unavoidable. However, with a bit of creativity and care, it’s still possible to arrange things so that the person gets to enjoy the Christmas that works for them.

A person-centred Christmas, for everyone?

Building a person-centred Christmas is an important principle of best practice. However, it can be difficult to know what to do when a ‘person-centred Christmas’ looks totally different for everyone in a service, and everyone needs different things.

Joe said:

Getting it right for everybody is a challenge, nigh on impossible. Do the best you can do. It’s very much about getting to know the people as individuals, speaking to families and understanding their histories.

Christmas isn’t something that can be avoided, but we try not to make it the only thing that’s happening. So yes, we do Christmas stuff, but we try and make sure that in between there are other bits and pieces that could also go on in the rest of the year.

You could also consider keeping Christmas decorations in certain areas of the house, so that people always have somewhere to escape to when everything is getting too much.

Christmas Day

Several staff told us how many people we support prefer to keep their normal eating routines on Christmas Day, despite what others expect:

“We all have expectations, and an understanding of how we think Christmas should be for someone…but if that’s not right for the individual we’re supporting, that’s totally fine,” said Heather. “If they want to have curry on Christmas Day, or put the decorations away at midnight on the 25th, that’s okay too.”

Heather also shared a story of a person we support who was sensitive to loud noises but wanted crackers. In the first year, Heather bought crackers chosen by them, taking out the snap at their request. A year later, they helped take the snap out. Two years later, at the person’s request, they made the crackers together:

It took all the scariness out. It’s something I really felt special about. For her to fully enjoy the experience on Christmas was really special.

Christmas Day is the big one, but with preparation, care, and consultation with people we support, we can all have a great day.
If you’re working over Christmas and feel a bit sad that you’re not able to do Christmas how you like it, why not plan your own Christmas Day for your next day off?

After Christmas

While some may feel a sigh of relief when the last moments of Christmas Day come to an end, others may feel deeply sad that it’s all over. Managing this can be challenging. To support anyone struggling, we suggest that you get planning the next big celebration.

For some people, having a thing to focus on that they can look forward to is really important.

Heather

When the decorations come down, we all know that Christmas is over. Many of us will feel a bit sad when we look at the once again empty house, but for some, this is a more intense and difficult feeling. Remember, Christmas doesn’t have to disappear overnight. You could take down one decoration each day, and as you take down the decorations, why not start decorating for the next big celebration

You don’t want a crash all of a sudden and nothing else. When people leave us for Christmas, we say, ‘okay, we’re going to countdown to Christmas, but we’re also going to countdown to when you return.

Joe

A person-centred New Year

In January 2023 we will be updating our resources on person-centred planning and reviewing, to help you build a whole year that centres around the needs and passions of the person you support. You can look out for that soon.

But until then, have a wonderful festive season and Happy New Year from United Response!

  • Ali Mills is Communications and Engagement Officer and John Ockenden is Practice Development Co-ordinator for United Response.