I spent a lot of my childhood in hospital. There were quite a lot of severely disabled children living on the ward who’d been abandoned by their families, so I grew up knowing that disabled children were just children which was unusual for people of my generation. When Jeff and I got married we knew we wanted a big family and there were children who needed parents, so we decided to have some of our own and foster. We believe we’re the first people to foster disabled children in the North of England. We fostered our twin girls, Nickie and Jackie, who both have Down’s Syndrome, when they were three and a half. When they moved in they didn’t know what anything in the house was. All the things you take for granted – they’d never seen. They’d never seen a bed or a telly or knives and forks. Within weeks, they were playing with the other kids. They just opened up, drank everything in, and loved to learn things.

Facing Bigotry

They were such gorgeous children. But there was so much bigotry back then. The twins came to us on a Saturday and on the Monday I took them to a playgroup, and a woman came up to me and said “we don’t have children like that here.”

They were such beautiful children. Why would anyone not want them there?

That’s what we met everywhere we went. Our next door neighbours immediately moved out because they didn’t want to live next to us. The local special school headteacher basically told me I was naïve and didn’t realise how difficult it would be to manage such ‘difficult’ children.  It all made me feel very angry and upset, because they were such beautiful kids.

There were no services, so we set up our own.

At the time, there were no books on learning disabilities. Well, that’s not true. There were two, but they were written in 1894. Social workers also had nothing to offer people because there were no services. So we set up our own. My partner Jeff was a journalist, and he wrote a short piece in the local paper saying if anyone wanted to meet up with other parents and share information, come to the Ecumenical Centre at seven o clock on Friday. We went down with a packet of tea bags and a packet of biscuits, and 200 people turned up. So that’s how we started our support group. There weren’t play facilities either, so I started a playgroup, which was the first inclusive playgroup in the country. After we moved to Liverpool, we set up an information project called SNIP, where parents could phone one of our volunteers to find the information they needed.

In Liverpool I even ran a mother and baby group at one point. One day my neighbour said “I met this mum at the school gate – she’s just had a baby and he’s got Down’s Syndrome. She’s basically been told ‘he can’t do this, he can’t do that’ and was sent home with this baby, terrified. Would you mind if I brought her around for a coffee?” I said “of course not” so we had a chat, and I told her “it’s not dreadful, it’s fantastic.” She started dropping around every now and again. Then one day she said “I’ve met another mum at the clinic, can I bring her?” and before we knew it, we ended up with 14 mums.  

Getting to know Nickie and Jackie

The twins were identical, but they had very different personalities. Nicola was very feisty, she’d challenge anybody, while Jackie was a people pleaser, very gentle and loving. But they were great. When they were older they started doing gymnastics and they were very successful – they got medals in the Special Olympics. They were also the first people with Down’s Syndrome to get awards from the British Ski Association, British Canoe Union and Royal Yacht Association. But they loved crafting as well. When Jackie became an auntie for the first time she learned to knit and knitted a blanket for her niece. We gave them an opportunity to try everything they wanted to try, and they were successful with everything they did.

The twins would generate a party atmosphere everywhere they went. One of my favourite things was going on holiday, because with Nickie and Jackie, you’d just make friends everywhere you went. One time we went to New York. And you know, on the subway in New York, nobody looks at anybody, nobody speaks…at least not until Nickie and Jackie get on! They never sat next to each other. One would want to sit next to one person and the other would sit next to someone else. By the time they’d get off, everyone in the carriage would be talking to each other.

When the twins got to eighteen nobody really knew what to do with us and eventually we joined Shared Lives with United Response. I think Shared Lives is fantastic because you get so much from being with people with learning disabilities. You learn so much from them.

A hugely enriching experience for all of us

Raising the twins has been a hugely enriching experience for all of us, and its been great for my three older kids as well. Growing up with Nickie and Jackie has shaped who they became as adults. The twins had been an amazing influence on everyone, the extended family as well. When Nickie passed away, I asked my three granddaughters to say something about Nickie at the funeral. My eldest granddaughter got up and said Nickie was the auntie she looked up to most. She was her role model. She went onto do gymnastics too and lots of things Nickie did.

Nickie had a great life right until the last day – that was always our aim. We wanted our kids to have an ordinary life, and the exact same rights and responsibilities that their older sisters had.

I’ve worked my whole life to change the world’s view of my kids and others like them, but I think Nickie did more than I ever did by getting in uniform every morning, getting on the bus, walking across town, and serving three and a half thousand people dinners the Royal Sun Alliance Insurance Company. She showed people that somebody with Down’s Syndrome can have an ordinary job and be an independent adult, just like Jackie did with her job.

An absolutely incredible life

I’ve had a spectacular life. I’ve had dinner with Princess Diana and I’ve spoken in the House of Commons. We’ve met people from all over the world we would never have met without the twins. It’s been a hugely enriching experience for all of us. What I’ve shared with you here is a drop in the ocean. We’ve had amazing experiences together. It’s been an absolutely incredible life. Wonderful.