Plant some seeds, and every time you look at them, remember me

These were the words that Dorothy Tappenden left for her son Robert, after she passed away, asking him to remember her by planting seeds and watching them grow and blossom into mature plants.

Robert has learning disabilities and has been supported by United Response in West Sussex for over 40 years.

Dorothy’s focus throughout Robert’s life was to make sure that he was happy, safe and cared for. She and her husband, Tom, dedicated their life to fighting to ensure that Robert and others with disabilities receive the support to make this a reality.

Throughout the time that we have been supporting Robert, Dorothy knew that United Response’s support helped to ensure that Robert was safe, happy, and with friends – aspirations that we all have for our lives.

In addition to the plants that Robert is growing and watering every day, Dorothy’s legacy also lives on through a generous gift in her will to United Response.

Leave us a gift in your Will

A lifetime championing disability rights

Jane, Robert’s sister, tells us that, as a child, her parents were always organizing jumble sales and other events to raise awareness and ensure that Robert and others with learning disabilities and the families got the support they needed.

Robert’s dad, Tom, was the outgoing, energetic, entertaining face of the events. Dorothy was the quiet organiser in the background, making sure that everyone was in the right place at the right time, and that everything went according to plan.

Making memories at Crawley’s Gateway Club

Dorothy and Tom also ran a Gateway Club in Crawley to help people with disabilities.  They were supported in this by young people who came along to help in support of  their Duke of Edinburgh award.

These young people left a touching message for Dorothy and Tom in 2002 when they retired and moved away.

“In May 1996, we all descended upon the Gateway Club in order to do a service for our Duke of Edinburgh Awards. Admittedly we were all a bit scared about what was to greet us, little did we expect that we would still be there 5 years on.

“Throughout the years, we have had a great time, with fond memories of things such as the shows we have done, and the karaokes and discos that we have had.

“Instead of feeling like outsiders, we were made to feel at home and the regular Monday nights became as much fun about having fun as something we had to do – that is why we are all still here today!”

Although sorely missed, you will be fondly remembered and always spoken of as a unique pair, willing to give so much to so many.

Why Dorothy left us a gift in her Will

By leaving United Response a gift Dorothy ensured that her fight to ensure people like Robert receive the support they need to be happy and healthy will continue long into the future.

Dorothy felt her most precious gift in life, her son Robert, was best cared for by United Response, that’s why she chose to leave a lasting legacy to the organisation that has cared for her son for over 40 years. 

Dorothy’s legacy lives on in her family, the memories they have of her and in United Response too.

Dorothy is not alone in wishing to care for people with disabilities. Help us sow more seeds for the future for people like Robert.

To find out how you could leave a gift in your will please visit unitedresponse.org.uk/get-involved/leave-a-gift-in-your-will/.

  • Ali Mills is Communications and Engagement Officer at United Response